By Funk McLovin funkmclovin Bandcamp YouTube YouTube BigFunkyJ Twitter ← Steel Bastille: Heart of Light, Crown of Thorns Previous track by this artist → The Strider Rap-Off Next track by this artist.
Released 4/3/2020.
Duration: 0:59.

Listen on Bandcamp or YouTube.

Read artist commentary.

Also released on The Homestuck Music Experienceas Ultimate Dirk Can't Rap about 4 years, 5 months later.

Lyrics:

(Awwww yeah. You better synchronize your watches, 'cause it's Dirk time, baby.)

Dirk Strider making bars
Unprecedented on Deltritus
Skull-headed bitches wanna find us
Space players wanna be us

Narratively sound and far away from Earth C
All you gotta do to be better than you is to be me

I put my daughter in a robot
Metal daughter
She brought along a friend
Metal daughter squatter

Boyfriend in her wallet
She making the moves
Leaving Dirk all alone
To pack up the grooves

Baby's first new species
Better gift yourself a bib
Lovecraftian abomination
Playing SBURB and playin' to win

A competition etched in the blood of my kin
What will you do? When the pimps in the crib

I'll make Rose's skills look like stepping on a rake
This whole shindig will be a piece of cake
I hope Terezi drowns in a lake
I wonder how Jane's doing? God I miss Jake

(--Rose get the fuck out of here!)

Artist commentary for Ult!Dirk Can't Rap:

Funk McLovin ✑ YouTube description

Ppl are using this track on TikTok here's the link lol: tinyurl.com/dirkrap

BACKING TRACK ONLY: youtube.com/watch?v=YgZn6DYFf_w

SPECIAL THANKS TO ZERROX for the loop : )

YouTube description

Song a Day 2020 number 94