By Funk McLovin funkmclovin Bandcamp YouTube YouTube BigFunkyJ Twitter ← Knight of Rhymes Previous track by this artist → Little Flower Next track by this artist.
Released 8/31/2024.
Duration: 0:59.

Listen on Bandcamp or YouTube.

Read artist commentary.

Also released on The Funk McLovin Homestuck Experienceas Ult!Dirk Can't Rap about 4 years, 5 months earlier.

Lyrics:

(Awwww yeah. You better synchronize your watches, 'cause it's Dirk time, baby.)

Dirk Strider making bars
Unprecedented on Deltritus
Skull-headed bitches wanna find us
Space players wanna be us

Narratively sound and far away from Earth C
All you gotta do to be better than you is to be me

I put my daughter in a robot
Metal daughter
She brought along a friend
Metal daughter squatter

Boyfriend in her wallet
She making the moves
Leaving Dirk all alone
To pack up the grooves

Baby's first new species
Better gift yourself a bib
Lovecraftian abomination
Playing SBURB and playin' to win

A competition etched in the blood of my kin
What will you do? When the pimps in the crib

I'll make Rose's skills look like stepping on a rake
This whole shindig will be a piece of cake
I hope Terezi drowns in a lake
I wonder how Jane's doing? God I miss Jake

(--Rose get the fuck out of here!)

Artist commentary for Ultimate Dirk Can't Rap: